Holiday Thank You Notes (Fallon style)

Ah, the holidays. You’ve got to love them, right? Since we’re now immersed in this wonderful season of good cheer, I have written some thank you notes in the style of Jimmy Fallon.

Dear Black Friday,

Thank you for making me feel perfectly content about sitting on the couch all day doing nothing.

Dear Thanksgiving food,

Thank you for tasting yummy and for making it imperative that I get a workout routine going before it’s too late. I have an appointment for an equipment orientation at the YMCA this morning at 10 a.m.

Dear Christmas lights,

Thank you for twinkling and not blinking like the desperate “OPEN” sign at the second-hand store with the empty parking lot.

Dear fuzzy-on-the-inside wool socks,

Thank you for being the best present I ever bought myself to put in my own stocking last year.

Dear snow,

Thank you for falling and making a soft white blanket on top of everything as opposed to rain, sleet, or hail. You are beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can’t bring you down. Oh no.

 Dear cheesy impulse-buy items strategically placed in racks where I must stand while waiting to buy other items,

Thanks for teaching me to be strong and for showing me that I can pick you up, smile, discuss your many amusing qualities, and then put you back down and keep my hard-earned money for something good.

Dear Christmas cards,

Thank you in advance for single-handedly destroying any good feelings I have about myself when I fail to sign, address, and mail you for the eleventh straight year.

Dear December,

Thank you for flashing by every year in a frenzy of shopping, frosted sugar cookies with sprinkles, band concerts, bad sweaters, and family gatherings. You are tiring but fun and ultimately wonderful.

Enjoy the season!