9. Other teachers give you fake smiles instead of death stares when you hog the copy machine.
8. Students only have sympathy for pain they can see.
7. Limited mobility explains the dishevelment of your desk.
6. Everyone pity laughs at your jokes.
5. Giant clumps of students blocking entire hallways while talking to friends will actually move out of the way when you approach.
4. You can demo your fantastic creative writing abilities after tiring of honestly answering the question, “Ohmygosh, what happened to you?”
3. The principal will personally give you a wheelchair ride to your car at 4 p.m., after the swelling explodes from the stupidity of you stubbornly putting weight on an ankle sprain all day.
2. Someone might loan you one of those leg-up scooters for the second day of school so you can fly around the building before discovering neither the steering nor the brakes works well at high speeds.
1. You now have a legitimate excuse for yelling at students in the hallway, “Move or die!”